EunHae: S is for Safari

During Christmas time the Super Junior dorm turned into something else. Something dangerous. The atmosphere changed, the people changed, and if one wasn't careful, there was a big possibility of getting into serious trouble. And no one, no one, wanted to get into trouble right before Christmas.

The safest tactic was to simply keep to yourself, preferably behind a closed door. And that was exactly what Hyukjae and Donghae were doing – laying on Hyukjae's bed, shoulder to shoulder, Donghae browsing through the wonder world of internet while Hyukjae played Super Junior shake with an iPhone that definitely wasn't his. There was one thing wrong with that, though, in their opinion.

It was terribly boring.

Hyukjae groaned and rolled on his back, his one arm hanging loosely over the edge of the bed. "Haeeeee" he whined "I'm so bored I'm going to die soon!" Donghae glanced at the rapper and chuckled, clearly thinking about something as he answered: "please don't die, Hyukkie, that would be terribly unpleasant."

"Yeah, then you'd be even more bored since I wouldn't be there keeping you company" Hyukjae quipped, making Donghae laugh lightly. The dancer sighed. "I wish we could do something exciting. Go on an adventure, or something. That would be nice. We could be heroes of some silly story."

Donghae seemed to consider his friend's words, before suddenly sitting up and pushing the laptop's lid shut. Hyukjae propped himself up on his elbows, confused eyes looking at the other, who merely gave him a wide grin and grabbed his arm.

"Come on, Hyukkie" Donghae chimed "We're going to go on an adventure!" He headed to the door, tugging the stumbling rapper behind himself. "Hae, what the hell are you doing?" Hyukjae whined as the brunet stuck his head to the corridor, peeking around to see if anyone was there. Content to see they hadn't been noticed, he pulled his head back, and offered the other male a wide grin. "I told you. We're going on an adventure. Let me show you, okay?"

Hyukjae simply nodded, making the grin on Donghae's face widen. "Good. Now, let's go!" Carefully the younger of the two opened the door and slipped out, his hand sliding downwards to slip into his best friend's hand to make sure the lighter brunet followed him and didn't attempt to escape his amazing adventure.

Slowly, carefully Donghae padded out of the room, turning to glare at Hyukjae when the older simply followed him, not trying to be silent at all. "Shush, Hyukkie!" he scolded "do you want our adventure to end already? They can't see us!"

Hyukjae gave a deep sigh, and gazed at his room. He was honestly a little scared how some of the people – mostly Jungsu and Heechul hyungs – would react when they appeared to bother them. Suddenly, trying to break the iPhone's owner's high score in Be My Girl sounded like the best thing ever. But, being the loving friend he was, he decided to give in and follow the over enthusiastic male.

They sneaked to the doorway of the 11th floor dorm living room, and peeked around the corner. They took in the scene of Sungmin watching cartoons on the couch, while Kyuhyun was generally just bothering him by poking his thighs and ass and whining "hyung, I'm so bored".

Donghae grinned and leaned to whisper in Hyukjae's ear: "here we have a wild mongoose trying to enjoy the day by sunbathing, but it has been made quite impossible because of the curious little bitch of a... A prairie wolf puppy."

Hyukjae's eyebrows shot to his hairline as an amused grin tugged the corners of his lips. "A mongoose? A prairie wolf? Hae, are we on a safari or what?" Donghae giggled, trying to muffle the sound to his sweater's sleeve. "Yup!" he beamed "this is the Super Safari! Oh, now I would like to point out to you that mongoose are very dangerous animals, and a wolf puppy should be very careful while dealing with them."

Hyukjae turned his head back to Sungmin and Kyuhyun, and almost gave them out as he saw Sungmin hadn't even glanced away from the screen, but stuff one woollen sock clad foot into Kyuhyun's face, pushing the squirming maknae away from himself. "I'll keep that in mind when dealing with mongoose. Why is Kyu a prairie wolf puppy, thought?" Hyukjae asked, amused, as they retreated back to the corridor.

"Because he wolfs down all the food we give him, and he's not smart enough to be an adult" Donghae snickered, and set his gaze on their next target. "Now, Hyukkie, we must be very careful when we try to make our way to the kitchen" he declared, kneeling to the floor and getting on all fours. "Or otherwise the mongoose might spot us and go ninja on our respective backsides."

Hyukjae bit his lip in order to not burst out laughing, and followed Donghae's example. Together they crept across the living room – behind the couch, near the wall, under the table – and reached the kitchen doorway without neither Kyuhyun or Sungmin noticing them. They peeked inside, and saw a black-haired figure leaning on the table with glasses perched on his nose, going through a thick pile of paper.

"Oh, look, Hyukjae, it's a... A... It's a baboon!" Donghae silently exclaimed and pointed at the reading male. Hyukjae looked confused. "Why is Kibummie a baboon?" he asked, and as an answer got a shrug. "I don't know, there was a smart baboon in the Lion King and Kibummie is smart. Now stop questioning my knowledge of animals and be quiet or else- "

"Hyukkie-yah, Donghae-yah, what the hell are you doing stalking Kibummie-ah like that?" asked a voice from the direction of the couch, and Donghae froze in the middle of the sentence. Slowly, both of them looked behind themselves, only to see a very confused Sungmin supported by his elbows and an irritated Kyuhyun with his hyung's foot now in his mouth.

"THE MONGOOSE! HYUKJAE, RUN!" Donghae cried out, and the two bolted up from the floor and dashed to the front door, opening and closing it before anyone really understood what happened. They did have time to royally startle Kibum, though, since the poor actor had jumped up fast enough for his glasses to fall half off his nose.

"What the fuck just- " he started, but stopped mid sentence and shook his head. "No, wait. It's EunHae. I don't want to know." Sungmin merely shrugged before slumping back to the couch and continuing his task of watching cartoons and ignoring Kyuhyun.


Once out from the dorm, Hyukjae and Donghae steadied their breaths and burst into laughter. "Congratulations, partner, we just escaped the ninja mongoose" Donghae laughed, hooking an arm around Hyukjae's neck while the older wrapped an arm around his waist. They headed to the 12th floor, and Donghae grinned. "There should be even more exotic animals up there, how about we go say hello to them?" Hyukjae laughed and ruffled his friend's chocolate brown hair. "Sure, you can tell me all about them!"

Wearing matching mischievous grins the two young men opened the door and quickly crept inside. There was no one in the entryway, but judging by the noises the TV was on, and some members were busy preparing different foods for Christmas Eve and checking if they had everything or if they had to go to the grocery store for the umpteenth time. First it had been Ryeowook and Sungmin doing the groceries, but since they always forgot something Jungsu decided to join them. (They still always forgot something.)

Suddenly, there were steps and Hyukjae was shoved out of the way straight against Donghae as a black-haired figure stalked pass them. Heechul glared at the two. "Fuck off from causing trouble, if Ryeowook gets another crying fit and Youngwoon throws another lamp I'm blaming you two monkeys."

The two waited until the diva had rounded the corner and (judging from the annoyed whines) stolen Yesung's place on the couch. Donghae then leaned to whisper to Hyukjae's ear: "that, Hyukkie, was a black mamba. You should stay away from it, otherwise it will bite you in the ass and you will die." Hyukjae glanced after their hyung, subconsciously covering his behind with his hands. He really didn't want to be bitten in the butt by Heechul. Like, really.

Deciding to continue their little tour, the duo peeked around the living room corner, Hyukjae on his knees and Donghae crouched over him. They took in the scene, and for a moment, wondered if it really was such a good idea to start an adventure.

On the couch, Heechul and Youngwoon were generally just lazing around, legs tangled and one of them giving a kick from time to time and grunting something about the other's foot being in his crotch or something along the lines. Jongwoon was sitting on the floor, kicked off the couch, glaring at Heechul as he read some magazine (with his glasses upside down on his nose, which amused Hyukjae terribly). Shindong and Henry were sitting on the floor, too, with the PlayStation 2 controllers in their hands, blasting through some game and letting out incoherent whines and yells from time to time. (Henry's cheeks were puffed out in concentration – Donghae found this absolutely hilarious and extremely adorable.)

And topping all the other noises, there were the frustrated yells of Jungsu and Ryeowook coming from the kitchen, and loud banging and clattering of what sounded like various pots and kettles. From under the two's hysteric yelling could be heard two voices – apparently trying to calm the duo down – which Hyukjae and Donghae recognized as Han Geng's and Siwon's.

Hyukjae nudged Donghae's side, and glanced at him, grinning. "Come on, tell me what we have here." Donghae glanced at the scene in front of him, and thought for a while, before starting. "Well, here we have a... A mongoose and a warthog. It's not a ninja mongoose, though, so no need to worry. This one seems to be quite friendly, as long as you don't plug its console out."

Hyukjae frowned. "Why is Shindongie-hyung a warthog? He's not smelly." "Unlike you" Donghae quipped, and grinned as his friend pouted, offended. "He's a warthog because I say so. And because he and Henry-ah remind me of Timon and Pumba." Hyukjae sighed. "Not the Lion King again, I thought Finding Nemo was your favourite film! ...apart from Titanic, of course, you big cry baby."

Donghae gave the rapper a cheeky smile, and continued, pointing at Jongwoon this time. "Here we have a turtle. It's a little slow, and maybe not the prettiest of all animals, but it's quite sympathetic." Hyukjae swallowed a giggle. "Hae, are you calling Yesung-hyung ugly?" he asked, amused. Donghae shook his head. "Of course not. I'm just saying he's not the prettiest of Snow White's animals."

"You've watched too much Disney" Hyukjae deadpanned, receiving a wave of hand. "Oh, nonsense. Anyway, on the warm cliff there we have the previously mentioned black mamba, and a male lion."

Hyukjae arched an eyebrow. "Why is Youngwoon-hyung a lion when everyone else is something less or more uncool?" Donghae smirked. "Well, you see, in the lion societies the females are the one doing the hunting and other work in the pack. The male is the one who just lazes around all day and humps the females."

Hyukjae was about to choke on his own saliva. "So, where are the lion's females, then?" he asked, though he was pretty sure he knew what the answer was.

"Stalking the prey, of course" Donghae stated, like it was obvious (well, it kinda was), and pointed to the kitchen where Jungsu and Ryeowook were going through their list for groceries once again, Jungsu biting his nails and Ryeowook biting the end of the poor pencil the were using. "There, see? They're trying to decide whether they should eat some water buffalo tonight, or antelope. Or perhaps zebra."

"Which instant noodle flavours are those?"

"I think zebra is shrimp."

"I hope they pick zebra."

"Ew, no way. Water buffalo for me, thanks. Anyway, the two fussing around them are... Um... Well, that bigger one is a zebra. Apparently it's their friend zebra, since the alpha female is not trying to eat it. Anyway, the other is... It's a... A rare Chinese... A rare Chinese crocodile!"

Hyukjae was very confused. "Geng-hyung is a crocodile?"

Donghae smiled sheepishly. "I like crocodiles. I just wanted someone to be a crocodile, okay?" Somehow, Hyukjae though this was very adorable, and gave his friend a cheeky grin. "Okay. He makes a wonderful crocodile. Oh, look, the younger lioness is moving."

They both concentrated on following how Ryeowook threw his hands into the air and stomped out of the room, stopping in front of the couch, his hands on his hips. "Youngwoon-hyung, Heechul-hyung!" he commanded, glaring at the two. "Get up and go to the grocery store. We need you to fetch some stuff, and we're busy."

Both Youngwoon and Heechul simply sneered at their dongsaeng, and kept kicking each other in their search of the Perfect Position For Relaxing. Ryeowook looked agonized, and stomped a foot. "Hyungs! Get up and get out! Come on!" he whined, this time receiving absolutely no reaction.

"Uh-oh, look, shit's about to go down. The lioness got mad at the lazyass lion and snake. They're in biiiig trouble..." Donghae snickered, and pointed at the kitchen door, where Han Geng and Siwon were cowering in fear, holding on to each other for support. Siwon looked like he was praying God for mercy on his friends' lost souls as a dark figure slowly approached the two on the sofa.

"Kim Youngwoon! Kim Heechul!" Jungsu barked. Youngwoon frowned, while Heechul merely grinned, and continued inspecting his nose from a pocket mirror. "Get your lazy asses off the fucking couch on this second or I swear to God you're not getting any Christmas food!"

Both of the two males scoffed. "You wouldn't do that to us. We all know that."

"Youngwoon. You're not getting any until New Year."

Youngwoon looked like blood just froze in his veins as Heechul let out a bark-like laugh. "Whipped, whipped!" he chanted, now checking out his fabulous grin.

"Heechul. I'm giving that ridiculous pink cowboy hat of yours to Hyukjae's dog."

Heechul's mirror snapped shut as he glared at their leader. "You wouldn't da- "

"Try me" Jungsu answered, his arms crossed. For a couple of seconds the two of Super Junior's eldest scowled viciously at each other, before Heechul threw his hands to the air. "UGH! Fine! Let's go, Kanginnie, get your ass up and going!" Youngwoon growled in disappointment, but followed his hyung nonetheless.

Hyukjae and Donghae snickered to themselves, and Donghae whispered: "1-0 for Teukie-hyung!" Hyukjae nodded, still giggling, before he froze. His eyes widened in fear. "Do-Donghae- they're coming here."

And so they were. Making their way through the people scattered on the floor, Heechul and Youngwoon were heading right their way. And God knows what would happen if they were caught by a lion and a snake! Hyukjae's hands flew to his butt. He really really really didn't want to be bitten in the ass and die!

"Here!" Donghae silently yelped, grabbing Hyukjae's arm and yanking him to the door of the nearest bedroom and pushing him in -

Just to be greeted with the sight of a very bony, and very naked slim figure of a red-haired Chinese man.

Hyukjae and Donghae screamed.

"What the HELL is happening and who just slaughtered a box of cats?" asked an angry Heechul as he yanked the door open, only to receive two miserably wailing dongsaengs in his arms while a third one screamed for them to shut the goddamn door already. He might have also mentioned something about hating Korea and all Koreans and taking the next plane back to China, but that might have been just the rest of the members' imagination.

As Hyukjae and Donghae calmed down from their shock of seeing Zhou Mi naked, they realized that it maybe would have been best to simply stay in the room – for now they had to face the wrath of Kim Heechul, and possibly both Kim Ryeowook and Park Jungsu.

"Jungsu-hyung will murder us" Hyukjae whispered as the duo slowly backed towards the door. "Not if Wookie-ah can cook us for dinner first" Donghae muttered as an answer, searching for the doorknob.

"Not so fast, fucktarts!" Heechul barked, his hands crossed on his chest. "You're not going anywhere! What the fuck have you two been doing, stalking us from the entryway?" The brunets' eyes widened, as they glanced at each other, then looked at Heechul again, gaping. Had their hyung known all the time?!

"Well, since you're exercising perverted activities and stalking people, I suggest you do it outside" Heechul then declared, and shoved a piece of paper to Donghae's hands. The younger clutched it, terrified for his poor life. He briefly wished Siwon would pray for him when he was cut into pieces and thrown to a river.

"What are you waiting for?" their hyung growled. "Out! Get out! Out, out, out!" The EunHae duo quickly scrambled to the door, and stuffed themselves out of it, missing the extremely content smirk that spread itself on Heechul's lips. As they shut the door, the Super Junior diva turned around, and waltzed back to the sofa, again kicking down poor Jongwoon who had happily claimed back his old place.

Jungsu scowled at him. "Didn't I tell you two to get out and go fetch me grocerie- "

"Calm down, ahjussi, I took care of it!" Heechul cheerfully declared, giving Jungsu a happy pat on the back, and skipped to the kitchen. "Now, Hannie boy! Make me some fried rice! I am starving!"

Jungsu glanced at Youngwoon, who glanced at Ryeowook, who shrugged and shook his head. "Don't look at me. It's Heechul. I have no idea what's going on in his head."


Outside the dorm, back in front of the 11th floor dorm front door, Hyukjae and Donghae stopped to wonder what just happened. Donghae looked at the paper in his hand, and read aloud: "milk, cereals (the chocolate ones Wookie likes), more cereals (the honey ones Henry and Jongwoon like), the third kind of cereals (the colorful ones Mi and Kyuhyun like), coffee x 5, milk x 8, strawberry yoghurt x 2, banana yoghurt x 3... Hyukjae, is this a grocery list?"

The two blinked.

"Donghae, did we just get tricked into going to the store while Heechul-hyung keeps lazing and bossing Geng-hyung around?"

They blinked again.

"Yeah."

Both of them burst into laughter, taking support from each other, fits of laughter shaking their bodies. They had nothing against going to the store, really – it was better than just laying inside – but being tricked into it by Heechul? They found it absolutely hilarious.

"Well" Hyukjae breathed, gasping for air, as Donghae still giggled slightly. "We better get our coats and shoes, then. How about you teach me all about Arctic animals once we get out to the freezing nature?"

Donghae beamed. "I'd be happy to!"

And as Ryeowook looked out of the kitchen window and saw Hyukjae and Donghae skipping down the road, hand in hand, on their way to the grocery store, he made a mental note not to bother with Heechul and Youngwoon-hyungs next time, but instead ask the over enthusiastic duo straight away. It would save them lots of trouble, lots of unnecessary threats, and lots of blows to his manly ego when the hyungs didn't listen to him.